


Becoming a Family

by rotKaiserin



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: (Very) Light Angst with Happy Ending, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9126748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotKaiserin/pseuds/rotKaiserin
Summary: When Amari made his decision, he not only changed his life but Emma's as well.





	

**Author's Note:**

> *rolls in* I said I wanted to end 2016 with a hopeful note, and so...!! Here it is!!
> 
> I'll admit I'm feeling a bit burned out with Deja Vu and kinda wanted to write something else for a change haha. This is just an idea I've been playing around with! I love Papa Amari as much as everyone else does, but it always seemed off to me that Emma would accept Amari as her father so quickly. I know she's only a child, but she had a life prior to Amari and I just figure that she wouldn't take everything as easily as typically portrayed (not that I'm ragging on that because I love all that family fluff stuff TvT)
> 
> A few ideas here were inspired by this fic [甘利さん家と愉快なD機関](http://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=6809919) by ゆいこ, or [The Amari Family and the Cheerful D-Agency](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7129955/chapters/16189910) as translated by SemimaruNoSeki (do check this out if you haven't, it's such a sweet story ;v;)
> 
> This is cross posted on my [tumblr](http://dollofdeath.tumblr.com/post/155190220497/becoming-a-family-11). Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy~! ٩(●˙▿˙●)۶

"Where's Mama?" was the question Emma asked as the ship docked in Hawaii.

Due to the events that had transpired earlier, the ship had docked later than planned. The sun had set hours ago, replaced with the shining moon and twinkling stars. Emma had stayed up, well rested after her nap, and she excitedly counted all the stars she could see and listened as Amari told her of the constellations in the sky. It was an idealistic scene -- one way more domestic than Amari had ever imagined himself in -- but he didn't mind, as much as his spy instincts yelled at him. He'd forgotten that there were some merits to a peaceful life.

Then Emma had asked that question, and all the ease he'd been feeling dissipated.

Of course, it was a question Amari fully expected. It stewed in the back of his mind as the minutes ticked by, wanting to come up with an answer that would satisfy Emma. He spent more time on it than he probably needed to, but he wanted to so she could find some kind of closure. None of this was her fault and yet she would be suffering the most, whether she realized it or not.

Still, he found it difficult to answer her right now -- not when she was staring at him with her big, blue eyes.

"Your Mama --" He started, nearly hesitating as she perked up. "-- Did a bad thing so she had to be taken away."

"Bad?" She echoed, her nose scrunching up as if the thought of it was like smelling expired milk. "Why would Mama do something bad?"

"She did it for your Papa."

"My Papa?" Her voice grew softer, the energy she had just a few moments ago vanishing.

Her eyes turned down as her smile fell into a frown and her grip on him tightened. Amari never imagined that a child could look so somber.

"When can I see Mama again?"

There was the question Amari had been dreading the most. It was difficult to keep up his act when he knew what he was saying would make Emma feel worse. But she would have to know all of this eventually, so perhaps it was better sooner than later.

"Not for a while."

"Why not now?" She asked, her voice shaky.

"Because she did something bad," he said. "So for now, I'm going to be your new Papa."

"I already have a Papa."

Her words shouldn't have stung as much as they did, but Amari ignored the pain.

"That's fine. You can just keep calling me Mr. Utsumi then, okay?"

"Okay."

Her eyes turned glassy, her lips were quivering, and she trembled in his hold. He could tell she was trying not to cry by the way she held her sniffles back. To think she'd been so upbeat and bubbly a few minutes ago and his words had shattered that image. He wondered if whether or not he made the right choice, but he figured things could've ended up worse for Emma. Maybe he wasn't the best man to be a caretaker, but he would try his hardest to give her what she needed.

And right now, Emma needed someone to comfort her.

"Hey," Amari said, catching her attention. "Your Mama would be sad if she saw you frowning like that, now wouldn't she?"

Slowly, Emma nodded her head.

"So can you smile? Smile for your Mama?"

Her smile was hesitant -- forced -- but it was still a smile so it was better than nothing.

"That's a good girl," he said, patting her head. "And you know, if you're a good girl, you'll get to see your Mama soon."

She perked up at this, her eyes growing wider.

"Really?"

"Really. So can you be a good girl for your Mama?"

"Yes, I can," she said. Though she didn’t have the same energy she had earlier, this was the most enthusiastic she'd been the entire conversation.

"Great," he said, smiling at her. "I'm sure your Mama will be very proud of you when she sees you again."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Emma's smile grew into a more genuine one, resembling the happy, little girl he'd met earlier. It didn't completely reach her eyes, but this was a start. Things wouldn't be easy for her, but he would help her along the way.

After all, it was just him, her, and Frate now.

* * *

"When are we going home?" was the question Emma asked as they arrived at their ("Their" -- a concept he was still getting used to) new place.

Thanks to his connections, he'd managed to get a place quickly on such short notice. It wasn't anything grand, just a small, one bedroom apartment, but that was just fine. He was still busy handling Emma's adoption papers to really consider anything else. At least they didn't need to spend any more by staying at the hotel.

Emma stayed by the entrance while Frate had ran inside immediately, the only one excited about the move. She held onto the door panel as her eyes surveyed the place, as if measuring it up to her old house. For Amari, moving wasn't anything new. As a spy he had no place to permanently call home (though maybe he had one place in mind), constantly relocating from one place to another whenever his mission called for it. But all of this was probably new for Emma. There was only one place that she called “home.” And for her, that was the only place imaginable.

"This _is_ home," he told her as gently as he possibly could.

"But home is in England," she said, her features scrunching up.

Amari placed down the luggage he'd been holding before squatting down so he was eye level with her.

"Do you remember how I said that you have to stay with me because your Mama is away?"

Emma nodded.

"Well, we're going to have to stay in Hawaii because we can't go back to England."

As if his words physically hit her, she stepped back.

"Why can't we go back?"

He swallowed hard as he thought of something to appease her. _Because we can't afford to go back. Because it's too dangerous. Because it'll raise too many questions_. All of them were pragmatic enough, but he doubted she'd see the reason in them. So in the end, he settled with:

"Because that's what your Mama wanted."

It was a lie, but part of him thought that maybe Cynthia truly would've wanted that.

"Why would Mama want that?" She asked, her voice cracking.

"England is a special place for you and your Mama, isn't it? It's where you have your precious memories of your Mama and Papa."

"Yeah..."

"Your Mama wants to make more memories with you when she gets back. And when she gets back, you can return to England and make those memories."

One tear fell down her face and another one quickly followed after.

"I wanna go back now." She hiccuped. "I wanna see Mama now."

Soon enough, tears were freely rolling down her cheeks and she looked down, rubbing at her eyes. Her tiny body shook as whimpers escaped her and Amari embraced her without hesitation. She buried her face into his chest, clinging onto him as she sobbed. He rubbed circles onto her back and rocked her back and forth while she let all her stress out.

She was only five-years-old and already she'd experienced so much loss -- the loss of a father, the loss of a mother, the loss of a home. No child should have to endure all of this, especially not with them happening so quickly after the other. But still, Amari had to commend Emma for going through all this as well as she had been. She was certainly very brave to go through all this while holding all her tears in up until now.

"You'll get to see your Mama soon enough," he told her as she quieted down.

His only response was her sniffles but she let him continue holding her.

"Until then, you have me and Frate to keep you company."

Again, she made no verbal response but she nodded her head and her grip on him grew stronger. Amari stroked her hair, humming a lullaby he remembered from long ago, one sang to help him get through hard times. As if sensing the mood, Frate walked up to them and curled up beside Emma.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that -- just him holding her with Frate trying to help as well -- but Amari didn't mind. He would be there for her no matter how long it took for her to feel better.

* * *

"What's that?" was the question Emma asked when she'd caught sight of the piece of paper Amari clutched in his hands.

It'd been about four months since they'd settled in Honolulu, four months since they'd settled into a routine of normalcy. During the first few weeks, Emma had been quite despondent. She spent most of her time with Frate, talked no more than what was necessary to him, and stayed inside most of the time. But not once did Amari lose his patience with her. He always made sure that she was comfortable, filled the silence when she couldn't, and even splurged every now and then to buy her small gifts and toys.

Eventually, Emma did open up to him. It started with a simple question asked hesitantly: "What language is that you're reading?" and he gladly taught her the basics of Japanese when her interest was piqued. Soon she began asking him more questions such as "Why is the sky blue?", "Why do we breathe?", and 'Why aren't the sun and moon up at the same time?" and Amari indulged every questions of her's, even the most outlandish ones. She would seek him out, eager to learn more from him, and he would more than happy to teach her. Now she could also get by in French and Spanish, she could name every county in the world, and she could play the piano with skill way past her years. He had absolutely no intentions of turning her into a spy, but Amari felt a surge of pride with how easily Emma went through her lessons.

Somewhere along the line, she sought him out not to learn, but to simply spend time with him. From having tea time together, to playing at the park together, to reading a bedtime story for her, he was constantly at her side. Perhaps he wasn't a father to her, but he liked to think of himself as a father-figure. Not once, not even in his old life, had he seriously considered being a parent. But now that he was one, Amari didn't want to give it up for anything.  

But it seemed that the Demon King wouldn't have it.

"It's a letter from a friend," he told her, plastering a smile onto his face.

"Okay," she said, eyeing the letter before returning to her book.

To anyone else, it would seem like he'd just said. But the truth was that Amari didn't recognize the name of the sender nor did he care for what was written. What mattered to him was the message he deciphered from its contents.

_Return. Now._

Shortly after arriving in Hawaii, Amari had sent his report back to D-Agency and promptly erased every trace of his existence, making sure nothing could lead back to him. During the first few weeks, he'd been on the edge, expecting a call back to happen at any moment. But as time passed and nothing happened, he'd grown lax. For a time, he truly did believe that he and Emma could live peacefully. But how wrong he was to think he could escape Lt. Colonel Yuuki.

Amari had two options: Ignore Yuuki's call or go back to Japan. His instinct was to go with the former, but the rational part of him knew that wouldn't work out in the long run. Yuuki's calls would only become more and more obvious and he didn't want to endanger Emma in any way. But at the same time, he didn't want to uproot Emma once more. She was smiling again, after weeks of melancholy, and it was a smile Amari wanted to protect. But with this new danger looming over, he couldn't protect her like this.

"Hey, Emma."

"Yes, Mr. Utsumi?"

"How do you feel about going to Japan?"

"Japan?" She set her book down as she looked at him, her eyebrows furrowing. "That's where you're from."

"That's right," he said taking a seat next to her.

"...Are we moving to Japan?" She asked him, her voice growing softer. Her lips curled down and quivered. "I like it here."

Mustering up his best smile, he patted her head.

"I don't know about that just yet, but I have to go meet my friend over there first."

She nodded, letting out a small “oh.”

"Then you can go. I can stay here."

Despite himself, Amari snorted.

"Then who's going to take care of you?"

"I can take care of myself," she said matter-of-factly. "And I have Frate too."

"Really now?"

"Really."

"That's a shame." He threw his hands up and let out an exaggerated sigh. "Who am I supposed to share my omurice with then?"

Emma gasped as her eyes widened.

"Okay, maybe I'll go with you. But only for a little while."

Amari laughed, thinking about how this exchanged wouldn't have happened a few months ago.  They were a part of each other's lives now and they were gradually learning how to deal with that. For Emma, Amari would do anything -- even if that meant facing Yuuki's wrath.

* * *

"Mr. Utsumi is... Mr. Amari?" was the question Emma asked when he sat her down and explained everything after his meeting with Yuuki.

It seemed that whatever gods that may exist decided to have mercy on him. While Amari expected a strict reprimanding, to be forced to give up Emma and go through an unimaginable reconditioning hell, he received a stern glare and an even more serious lecture. It was more akin to a scolding if anything, not that he was complaining. In the end, they came to a deal. Amari was no longer to go on deep undercover missions; simpler, domestic missions only from now on. At the same time, he'd be working as a businessman, which would serve to provide income for D-Agency and to support Emma as well as a cover for the Greater East Asia Cultural Society.

On the flip side of things, almost everyone else happened to be around at the time of his arrival. It wasn't that he didn't want them to meet Emma, but he'd rather introduce them slowly so as to not overwhelm her. But he had to admit, the looks on their faces were priceless and if the situation were any different, Amari would've taken pride in catching them all off guard for once. Though they acted cordially towards her, they scrutinized every move she and Frate made, as if they were suspects to be trailed. He knew they were curious about Emma -- about him and what he'd been up to in the four months he was gone -- and would try to get the story out of him one way or another, but being underneath everyone's gaze was unnerving.

Likewise, Emma had been cautious around everyone else. While she responded to the others politely, she never strayed too far from Amari and clung onto Frate, never speaking more than she needed to. He hoped that she would open up to them eventually, just as she did with him, especially if this was where they were going to live from now on. He trusted the others, for they were some of the only people he considered close to him -- almost like a family, now that he thought about it. And perhaps he shouldn't be thinking of them like that, but having spent some time with a daughter of his own ( _his_ daughter -- he still couldn't believe it) made him see things differently.

All in all, things went better than Amari thought they would. But now he had to clear things up with Emma.

She only knew him as Osamu Utsumi, a Japanese engineer who took her in after her mother was arrested and little else. But he couldn't keep playing the role of Utsumi with her anymore. Not with these circumstances.

"That's right," he said, watching her closely for any reactions. She'd taken the whole explanation in stride, not once showing sign of distress or discomfort.

"And you're a spy? And those other guys are spies too?"

"Mhm. But that's a secret -- you're not allowed to tell anyone else."

"I thought that secrets were bad."

" _S_ _ome_ secrets are bad. People can get hurt if you tell others about this, so that's why this secret isn't bad."

"Okay," she said, nodding.

Though glad she wasn't crying or throwing some kind of fit, Amari was worried with how subdued she'd been acting. Knots formed in his stomach as he thought about how he'd forced her to go through even more change just when she'd started getting used to life in Hawaii. But then she looked up at him and smiled -- a faint one, not her typical, bubbly one, but still a smile.

"Mr. Amari," she said, testing out the name. "You must've had a very exciting life."

He certainly wasn't expecting that, but he returned her smile nonetheless.

"You could say that."

"Can you tell me about your missions?" She asked, her enthusiasm growing.

Striking a thinking pose, Amari hummed as he pretended to consider her question.

"Hm... I'm afraid that's classified information."

"Just one!"

"I don't know..." He chuckled as she pouted. "But maybe I can tell you about this one mission I went on."

"What was it?"

Her eyes sparkled as she leaned in, waiting for him to start his story. Looking at her now, Amari's smile grew bigger. He didn't remember the last time he felt so at home.

* * *

"Mr. Amari, can I sleep with you?" was the question Emma asked, shaking him awake in the middle of the night.

Even if he was feeling groggy, he heard the shakiness in her voice and wasted no time scooting over to make room for her.

"Of course."

Immediately she climbed onto the bed, nestling into him. He could feel her tiny hands gripping his shirt, her body shivering in his arms, her erratic breathing against his chest, and Amari frowned. It'd been a few weeks since they moved back to Japan and Emma had been adjusting better than expected. She was slow to warm up to the other spies -- even slower to warm up to Yuuki -- but she'd eventually made the effort to spend time with them, eager to learn more about them and the lives they lived. The Cultural Society was soon filled with the pitter-patters of her feet and her laughter, though she did have those bouts of melancholy. But not once did she cry or have a breakdown like she did when they'd moved into their house in Hawaii; this was the first time Amari had seen her distressed like this since arriving.

"Did something happen, Emma?"

He waited patiently for her response, which was a quick nod of the head.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Again, he waited for her response, stroking her hair while he did.

"...I had a scary dream," she said finally.

"What was your dream about?"

"Papa and Mama." She paused. "I was with Papa and Mama. We were together but I tried to hug Papa and he was gone. Then I tried to hug Mama and she was gone too."

As she spoke, the cracks in her voice became louder and she stopped to sniffle every couple of words.

"Then I saw you, Mr. Amari." Her grip on him tightened. "I ran to you and tried to hug you but then --" She hiccuped. "-- you were gone too."

Her words were barely coherent by the time she finished, becoming more of a whine. The dampness of her tears soaked through his shirt as she buried her face deeper into his chest. Amari embraced her tighter, rubbing circles into her back as he rocked her gently. Her sobs only increased, but then Amari began humming a lullaby he'd learned years ago, one sang to calm him down. Slowly, her breathing returned to normal and he no longer felt the warmth of her tears dripping onto his shirt. She loosened her grip on him and she'd gone quiet, save for the occasional sniffle.

"That's certainly a scary dream you had," he said, continuing to run his fingers through her hair. "But that's all it was, wasn't it? A dream. I'm still here."

"But..." she said, her voice still raw from sobbing. "What if you leave me too?"

That was a fair question. There was no guarantee that he wouldn't, given his line of work. Though he wasn't allowed to do the more intense missions, there were still dangers in everything he did. Even just being in this very building threatened his -- and her -- livelihood. And perhaps it wouldn't even be a mission that would take his life, but a freak accident.

But Amari couldn't do that. Not to Emma.

"Don't die" was part of the doctrine D-Agency spies lived by and Amari would follow it to its fullest. He refused to leave Emma behind, especially when she had no one else to rely on. Such a child as sweet and bright as her deserved the best and Amari would do his damned hardest to give her just that and more.

"I won't," he told her. Then gently, he coaxed her to look up at him. "I care for you very much so I'll never leave you behind."

She looked at him with those big, blue eyes of hers as if searching for a lie. Then slowly, she raised a pinky.

"Do you pinky promise?"

He linked his with her's, giving her a smile.

"I pinky promise." For extra measure, he tugged her pinky. "You and me, we're together forever."

"What about Frate?"

Amari laughed.

"And Frate as well. You, me, and Frate -- together forever."

She giggled, the shine returning to her eyes. Her eyes were less puffy now, the redness in them disappearing. But then her expression turned serious and a bit hesitant.

"Mr. Amari?"

"Yes?"

"...Can I call you 'Papa?'"

It was only thanks to his training that Amari was able hide his surprise. He'd been hoping that one day she would come to see him as a father but he didn't think that day would come so soon; he was happy enough just to be part of her life and take care of her. But of course, he was more than glad to oblige her.

"I would be honored."

She beamed at him, smiling much like the day they first met.

"Then, Papa?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, Papa."

A spy was not supposed to form attachments to anyone, but that was a rule he'd broken long ago. Perhaps once there was a time where he'd wanted anything but a family, but she was his life now, as he was her's. And Amari was fine with that. No, he was more than fine with that -- he wanted nothing more than that. And to be honest, Emma had given him more meaning to his life than anything else.

So he returned her smile, giving her the biggest one he'd ever given anyone, and kissed the top of her head as he pulled her in closer.

"I love you too, Emma."

**Author's Note:**

> and now proceed d-family shenanigans with emma lololol
> 
> I hope this was all right ;u;This is my first time ever writing something that focuses on Amari and I'm still not quite sure about his character hmmm but he really is such a sweet papa TvT
> 
> Anyways, feel free to talk to me on [tumblr](http://dollofdeath.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/nighthawkstars)! Thank you all for reading again!! I hope you all have a wonderful new year and that 2017 treats you very well!!! (*´꒳`*)❤


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